Let's talk about gut feelings. We all have them. We don't always listen to them. If you're unsure, it is 'if you know, you know' check your body will give you. I swear by my gut feelings and intuition. I pride myself on always being right. But I want to talk about them and what to do when you have them, how not to ignore them, and what if they come a little to late.
Fun story: I recently started a new job. I was so excited to get out of my old job to hopefully renew the idea of teaching. Due to COVID, I have felt more worn out and exhausted and began feeling like I don't want to teach. I've been a paraprofessional for the past year and a half and thought it was great pre-COVID. COVID has really tested me. I had so many people tell me to still take a content test and maybe moving schools would be good. That isn’t the case. I do well in interviews. I’ve been into so many, I know what to ask and know how to stand out. I know, that’s bragging. When I had my last interview, I knew I nailed it. I tend to act out of desperation instead of waiting for something that is right to come along. It is a bad pattern I developed.
Flash forward to a couple of weeks after my interview and accepting my new position. I had just walked in and told the lady at the front I was the new paraprofessional. Not only did she not know I was a new employee, she was also unfamiliar with the word paraprofessional. Once it was established I wasn’t a sub, the AP (assistant principal) greeted me and walked me down the hall. As we were walking it hit me- I don’t want to do this, this isn’t the right choice. What am I going to do now? I can’t leave by spring break, that isn’t right. I know I have to stick it out until May.
Knowing what my gut told me and how I feel, I have one of two options- quit and ruin my reputation in this industry or tough it out and make the most out of a situation I am not really interested in. I picked the latter. But just the fact that it hit me as I was walking down the hall my first day, before I walked into any classes. It has set up my mentality. While I’m trying not to let my personal thoughts interfere with my day-to-day, there is a part of me focusing more on what I’m doing after May. I have more than enough time to plan and prepare, but I am proactive and working towards my next goal.
While the new job isn’t all bad- it has a lot more pros than I thought, I know this is going to change soon. One thing I like is having 5 students that I work specifically with and if they’re not at school I have free time. That free time is used as ways to rebuild my portfolio, job search, and build my small business. I have 5 students. At my old school, I had about 30 students I had to work with daily and could have up to 9 students in a class and had only 2 breaks that would fly by. I don’t have outside morning duty anymore- which means I don’t have to interact with parents calling me stupid- yes that happened. But I am treated pretty bad. I am not against doing work, I know my worth. I think that is the problem. I have a problem with work places treating employees differently based on their title. The only thing that separates teachers and myself is that content test. I also have a degree, I took classes on education through an alternative certification program, so why am I treated so different? Teachers out there, feel free to answer that. And I know with any place there is going to be things about the place that has some serious negative connotations.
I digress though. Back to gut feelings. I find them important and worth looking into and really learning how to trust yourself if you don't do that. I know several people who tell me they had a feeling, but didn't listen and regret that. Practice on small things, "should I go out tonight?" and if you don't feel something in the pit of your stomach, you're more than likely good, but even if it is the smallest hesitation, don't go. It is worth a look into.